A Brief Lexicon of
French Œnological Pejoratives
or
Bad Words for Bad Wine


When men drink, then they are rich and successful and win lawsuits and are happy and help their friends.
Quickly, bring me a beaker of wine so that I may wet my mind and say something clever.
—Aristophanes

I rather like bad wine… one gets so bored with good wine.
—Disraeli


A

abondance feminine noun Watered-down wine. Pouah! Achetez-vous cette abondance à la carton? (Ugh! Do you buy this swill in a box?)

B

beaujolpif masculine noun Beaujolais wine. Aprés un litre et demi de beaujolpif, je monterai Georges Duboeuf lui-même. (After a liter and a half of beaujolly, I would screw Georges Duboeuf himself.)

betterave feminine noun A bottle of red wine. Conventional meaning: beet. Nous sommes dans “Coco’s,” pas de “La Tour d'Argent.” Buvez sa betterave et taisez-vous. (We’re in “Coco's,” not “La Tour d'Argent.” Drink your red and shut up.

biberon masculine noun A bottle of booze (any alcoholic beverage). Conventional meaning: baby bottle. Passes-moi ce biberon, mon ami. Mmm… est-ce que c'est du Sancerre ou un Vouvray, ce “Night Train?” (Pass that bottle, buddy. Mmm… is it from Sancerre or Vouvray, this “Night Train?”)

bibine feminine noun “Cat’s-pee,” cheap and rather tasteless wine. Qu’est-ce que c’est, cette bibine? L’eau du robinet a l'arrière-goût plus fort! (What is this cat’s piss? Tap water has more of an aftertaste!)

bistouille feminine noun “Cheap booze,” inferior alcoholic beverage. Il n’y a pas de Château Margaux depuis que son état de frais a expirée. Il boit seulement la bistouille maintenant. (There’s no more Château Margaux since his expense account dried up. He drinks only hooch now.)

bromure masculine noun Cheap and nasty wine served in college and army canteens. Its name derives from the dubious hypothesis that it is laced with bromide. Que mettent-ils dans ce bromure? Je ne le servirai pas à un Boche dans les tranchées! (What did they put in this rotgut? I wouldn’t serve this to the Germans in the trenches!)

C

canon masculine noun Glass of wine. J’avais besoin de lamper un canon afin d'étouffer sa cuisine. (I had to guzzle a glass of vino just to choke down her cooking.)

casse-poitrine masculine noun Also casse-pattes. Homemade booze, moonshine. Non, non, se palucher ne fait pas un homme aveugle. Mais, soyez prudent avec le casse-poitrine. (No, no, wanking won’t make a man blind. But I’d be careful with that moonshine.)

cirage masculine noun Être dans le cirage: To be in a state of semi-consciousness (as a result of a blow, excessive drink, drugs, etc.). On a bu un magnum de Two Buck Chuck en provenance d’un millesime inferieur, et nous fûmes dans le cirage. (One magnum of Two Buck Chuck from a bad year and we were blind stinko.)

coaltar masculine noun Cheap red wine. Appelez-vous ce coaltar “porto”? Où conservez-vous vos vins? Au dessus de son calorifère? (You call this swill “Port”? Where do you store your wines? On top of your furnace?)

cuirassé adjective “Pissed,” “stoned,” “hammered,” blind-drunk. Conventional meaning: armored. D’accord, je suis cuirassé. Ce shiraz fait parade de 16% alcool. (Of course I’m hammered. This shiraz is sporting 16% alcohol.)

cric masculine noun (jocular) “Pick-me-up,” glass of strong alcohol. Je ne peux pas recontrer mon avocat sans avoir bu un coup de cric. (I can’t have a meeting with my attorney without having a snort beforehand.)

D

décapant masculine noun (jocular) “Rotgut,” cheap booze. (The kind that is nearly as lethal as paint stripper.) Conventional meaning: paint stripper. Oui, c'est du décapant. Comment tu crois que je nettoie mes vieux pinceaux? (Yes, this stuff is rotgut. How do you think I soak my old paintbrushes?)

F

fillette feminine noun Half-bottle of wine. Pendant que toutes les langues pendilleront, cette fillette va disparaître tout de suite. (This half-bottle’s going to disappear fast with all these tongues hanging out.)

G

gros masculine noun Cheap red wine. Qu’est-ce que tu veux, une bière à la pression, aimable et agréable, ou un coup de gros rouge? (What would you rather have, a nice draught beer, or a glass of cheap red?)

J

jaja masculine noun Glass of wine. Qui dit que onze heures c'est trop tôt pour un jaja? (Who says that eleven in the morning is too early for a little drink?)

K

kil masculine noun Also kilo, kilbus. Bottle of cheap red wine. The fact that 100 cl. of water weighs one kilogram explains this colloquial meaning. Là-dedans, il y a un kil Gallo. À côté des saucisses végétariennes. (In there, there’s a jug of Gallo. Next to the vegetarian hot dogs.)

L

lavure feminine noun Watered-down wine, wishy-washy red wine. Conventional meaning: dishwater. Gare… Encore un autre merlot de Californie. Ou est-il simplement la lavure? (Look out… Yet another California Merlot. Or is it just dishwater?)

légionnaire masculine noun Liter bottle of wine. Un peu de pain, un légionnaire, et ça me tue! (A loaf of bread, a jug of wine, and I’m done for!)

M

mousseux feminine noun Sparkling white wine, cheap imitation of champagne. Les noces étaient horribles. Ils ont dû dépenser environ 3 euro par mousseux. (The wedding was horrible. They must have spent nearly three bucks on the cheap champagne.)

P

pétrus masculine noun Ass, butt, behind. (Not really an œnological piece of slang, but there is something amusing about the potential translation of the world’s most expensive label as “Château Backside.”)

pichtegorne masculine noun Cheap red wine. Bienvenue chez moi, cette caravane! Voulez-vous avoir un peu de pichtegorne et Cheez Whiz? (Welcome to my trailer home! Would you like a little Two Buck Chuck and some Cheez Whiz?)

picolo masculine noun Wine, usually red, rather lacking in character. (Like the musical instrument, it’s no “big noise” in the wine world.) Parbleu! Un “Gamay Beaujolais” ici, dans le Seven-Eleven! Je parie que ce picolo tient tête au morceau du céleri. (O Jeezus! A “Gamay Beaujolais” here, in the Seven-Eleven! I’ll bet this dreck can stand up to a nice piece of celery.)

picrate masculine noun (pejorative) Bottom-of-the-barrel wine, cheap and rough-tasting red wine. Colloquial meaning derived from the salt or ester of picric acid, highly explosive. Ça, c’est picrate, pas de vin. Je ne frotterais pas une ancre avec cette merde. (This is utter rotgut, not wine. I wouldn’t scrub a boat anchor with this crap.)

pinard masculine noun “Vino,” wine. More the bargain brand than the château variety. La vie est trop courte pour boire du pinard. (Life is too short to drink the cheap stuff.)

pinter transitive and intransitive verb To “booze,” to drink unwise amounts of alcohol. Si devant moi vous mettiez une bouteille de 1989 Vieux Télégraphe, je ne le boirais pas, mais j’irais me pinter. (Put a bottle of 1989 Vieux Télégraphe in front of me and I won’t just drink, I’ll start boozing.)

pionner pronominal verb Also se pionnarder. To get drunk, to get “sloshed,” “sozzled.” Si vous mettiez deux bouteilles ici, je me pionnarderai vraiment. (Put down two bottles and I’ll really make like a wino.)

piquette feminine noun Cheap and nasty wine (literally the nearest thing to vinegar). Sauvez-la, la piquette. Je pense qu’elle peut recharger probablement la pile de ma bagnole. (Save me that acidic crap. I think I can use it to top off my car battery.)

pissat masculine noun Also pipi de chat. “Cat’s-pee,” cheap white wine. Vous dites qu’il est un chardonnay de Californie de qualité supérieure, et je vous dis que mon chat peut faire ce pissat! (You say that this is a high quality California Chardonnay, and I say my cat could make this pisswater!)

pomponnette feminine noun Boire à la pomponnette: To swallow some wine, beer, etc. in big gulps, or to drink straight from the bottle. Chez Willi’s Wine Bar, c’est dificile de ne pas boire à la pomponnette. Donc, j’emploie un chalumeau. (At Willi’s Wine Bar, it’s difficult not to gulp. Therefore I use a straw.)

potable adjective (jocular) “Not too bad,” drinkable, quite palatable really. Alors, c’est vrai qu’un Hermitage 1998 est très dur, cependant il est certainment potable, si je lui met la main dessus. (Now, it’s true that a 1998 Hermitage is rather hard, however it’s certainly drinkable, especially if I get my mitts on one.)

pousse-au-crime masculine noun “Hooch,” cheap and strong alcohol. (This jocular label is very much in the spirit of “mother’s ruin.”). Grand-tante était excentrique. Si vous regardiez derrière le bouilloire, vous verriez une petite bouteille de pousse-au-crime. (Great-aunt was eccentric. If you looked behind the tea kettle, you’d see a little bottle of rocket fuel.)

R

rinçure feminine noun (abbreviation of rinçure de tonneau) Cheap watered-down wine. Conventional meaning: rinse-water. Il faut diluer le vin au bar, afin de servir cette rinçure. (The wine must be diluted for the bar to be serving this dishwater.)

ripopée feminine noun Weak wine, cheap wine that has been watered down. Vin sans alcool? À votre santé? Non. C’est de la pure ripopée. (Non-alcoholic wine? For your health? No. This is just watery swill.)

rouquemoute masculine noun Red wine. (The word has no real pejorative connotation, unlike picrate, gros rouge, etc.) Mangeons le cassoulet provençal, et n’oublions pas beaucoup de rouquemoute. (Let’s eat cassoulet, and don’t forget plenty of red wine.)

rouquin masculine noun Red wine. Conventional meaning: redhead. Il en manque une seule chose chez In-And-Out-Burger, un flacon de rouquin pour votre Double-Double. (There’s only one thing missing at In-And-Out-Burger, a little bottle of red to go with your Double Double.)

V

vinasse feminine noun (pejorative) Lousy, really third-rate wine. Nous goûtions des vins de Temecula, de haut en bas, et il n’y avait rien sauf de la vinasse, toute la journée. (We tasted wine in Temecula from one end to the other… nothing but execrable dreck all day long.)

voyageur masculine noun Small glass of white wine. (The kind of quick drink that helps you on your way.) Peut-être que tu veux un peu de xérès, un voyageur? (Perhaps you would like a little sherry, one for the road?)

W

wagonnet masculine noun Recharger les wagonnets (of glasses): To “set ‘em up again,” to fill them up again. Allez, on recharge les wagonnets, en ayant lu notre dictionnaire de l'argot pour les vins les plus nuls. (OK, let’s have a refill, having read our lexicon of bad words for the weakest wines.)